OK passengers! This is my first movie review for October 2019! I decided to start off with “the witch“. This movie actually didn’t suck too much LOL. It definitely had a lot of stagnant parts but I thought the acting was pretty fucking good. The cinematography was pretty cool but the overall story line was a little bit flimsy. Basically a family is excommunicated from their village back in the early colonial times for not agreeing with or abiding by the decisions of the village counsel and decided to start up their own little farm. They were devout followers of God and of course there was a fucking witch living in the woods But apparently enjoyed smashing up little baby bitch and covering herself in them. Seems kind “Albert Fishy”... I can honestly say it wasn’t “scary” but it had a couple of little moments. The weird goat thing was kind of odd... Black Phillip was the little bastards name. It really did demonstrate how people thought of spiritualism and the inability to understand certain “supernatural“ things, in those beginning Times. The ending was a little bit sparse, to say the least. I can’t say that I exactly saw it coming but it wasn’t 100% predictable, I guess… It’s on Netflix so give it a watch and let us know what you think. On my scale of fucks given, this one gets a 6 1/2 out of 10.
Jonathan - Conductor of the Cryptic